Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
