I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
