i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize