That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
