All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
