i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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