Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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