so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
