I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize