We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
