One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
