going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
