i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
