i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
