as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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