I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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