There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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