it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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