dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
