After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
