i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize