Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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