He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
