I cannot find my penis.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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