Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Green mimosas i think yes
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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