living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
