alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
