our cab driver is having phone sex.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
