Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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