he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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