Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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