forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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