You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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