Michael Bay diarrhea
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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