Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Damn victory sex feels great
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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