I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Found your dick twin last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
