Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
