We're like a lot better than the average bears
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
