that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
