Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize