My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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