Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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