Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I believe in your delicious
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
