Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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