with your own penis?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize