i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
