I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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