I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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