bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
