tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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