your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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