Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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