I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
