I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
