You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my vagina is haunted
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
