I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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