If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize