I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
