The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
