I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
