my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
