eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
