check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
