I think I won the penis lottery.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
