I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
