You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
honey bunches of taint.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
