So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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