I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize