college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
