At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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